Stinky Del Negro - The Soft Favorites - Lyric Sheet/Credits

1. The Ointment

Are you happy?
Are you gay?
Did you check
the tube today?
Is the lid on
nice and tight?
Did you squeeze the
bottom right?
Can you tell, can you tell
did you spread the
ointment well?
Could you answer me just
one last little thing?
Is the salve you bought
real fresh?
Are the ingredients
the best?
Does it do all that
it says that it will do?
Is is greasy? Is it wet?
Is the smell one to forget?
Will it clear up
that thing that’s
on your balls?
Tell me did the ointment
that you bought
at the cornerstore
Did it get rid of
that thing
growing on your balls ?
Did it alleviate the
itching or put an end
to the bitching
I must know did the
swelling go down at all?
Are you chafing?
Are you red?
‘cuz you know what
the doctor said
"You must get that
damn thing in tow soon"
If you can’t bear
to apply it
at least let mother try it
‘cuz we’re going
out of town this afternoon

Stinky: Miniature Piano, Typewriter
Peter Stopschinski: Keyboard
Mike Vasquez: Banjo
Jimmy Burdine: Bass
Bryan Nelson: Drums
Clay Embry: Saxophone
Stinky: Bells
Clay: Sax & Trumpet
Jimmy: Trumpet
Stinky: Banjo
Tyler H: Tote Bag
Katie Vincent: Laugh
Peter: Keyboard
Jimmy: Slide Whistle
Back-up Vocals:
Kerri Atwood, Gene
Atwood, Chepo Peña,
Peter, Clay, Jimmy, Tyler

2.Death to the French!
Hey Frenchie, Hey frog
Hey Pierre, Piss off!
We don’t need your
or your fashion either
We don’t want your
laissez-faire attitude
or your bon bons neither
Death to the French!
You beret wearin’, cheese
eatin’ piece of shit
You can go fuck yourselves
With your
dumb ass government
Ha ha ha
You can keep the
Eiffel Tower
And Versailles and
the Lovre
I hope you all
drown in champagne
While suckin’ on my
American boot
Death to the French!


3.La Turista
La Turista
Tengo "la turista"
lo baño por favor
La Turista
Tengo "la turista"
Presto qiero mucho
sentir mejor


4. Parental Advisory

Monologue by "T.J."

5.Tuckin’ It Between
?My Legs
I’m tuckin’ it
between my legs
Just to show you I still care
Girl, I hope you are aware
I’m tuckin’ it in between
my legs as a little
gesture of my love
Woman you know that
I’d do anything
to bring your heart
closer to mine
I’b buy you a burrito
or be your mamasito
What’s a little gender
between friends
I’m burying my piano
in the yard
So maybe you will
give me a call
How much longer
can you stall?
I’m burying the piano in
the yard as a little
gesture of my love
Woman you know that
I’d do anything to bring
your heart closer to mine
Eat the skin off my toes
no matter where
the wind blows
I’ll be your little
flesh eating freak.

SDN ’, Clarinet, Piano
Upright Bass, Mouth Percussion

6. Cassolette
I am a prisoner of your
perfume as I lie here
in this empty room
your fragrance lingers
I forget the nature
of your desire
My heart is now on fire
and my two fingers

The sweet taste of your
tender breast
I lie here weeping and
forget the rest
You smell of flowers
When we met
I knew nothing of you
I confess, or what it is
to see your love undress
before a shower
As of yet I haven’t tired
of your body , dear
nor ever shall I
in one thousand years
How could I?
My tongue is wet
I need you as I need the air
I draw you in
and keep you there cassolette

SDN ’, Tarantella
Bryan Nelson: Upright Bass

7. The Soft Opening
There’s a soft opening
on my eye
how could I have
missed it before
I’m a lonely sort of man
I’m sick don’t you
The soft opening’s alive

I’ve got a big two incher, an epileptic doberman pincer, and a paper sack full of toiletries
There’s a block
on the telephone
I’m young and
I’ll die alone
Tomorrow’ll be
too late for me
I live with a midget
who has syphillus
and he don’t pity me

The soft opening,
it guides my every word
No difference is heard
I only know the feeling
I had thought my sores
would always heal
My clothing would conceal
the ugliness of being
one of the ill

Laying down
I’m cold and crying
As I sleep I’m surely dying
While I dream,
my life slips away

Ezra Reynolds: Hammond
Bryan Nelson: Drums,
Kerri Atwood & Katie
Vincent: Screams

8. Happy Kwanzaa


9. It’s Never Over
A little bird told me
That you’d flown away
forever but I know
that its not over
It’s never over
Don’t live in the shadows
I’m livin’ in the shade
Don’t you know tomorrow
will never come today?
I learned that long ago
Now I have it made
I came to face my demons
I ended up
chasin’ your ghosts away
Can you hear me
when you get home
callin’ from the woods
Hey, hey, hey
Don’t you know that
you’re still young
And didn’t
I tell you before?
Tomorrow’ll never come
What do you
want from me?
It’s over if you want


10. There Comes A Time

SDN &Mac189;
Bryan Nelson: Aux. Drums

11. Penises & Vaginas
I’ve got a watchband
and a dress
I have a hardware
shopping list
I’ve got a flower in my fist
Penises and vaginas

Don’t you agree
The games we all play
rely upon these
I play them too
Thank God so did
my parents in ‘72

Put the cheese in the taco
the frank in the bun
Sour craut on my sausage
and relish your cunt
Finger the trigger
Wipe your prints
off the gun
Penises and vaginas

Have you the time
to sit on my lap while
I’m feeling
finer than gold
The end-all and be-all
or so I’ve been told

Innuendos and
cunning one liners
Oh I can think of
nothing that’s finer
Some of us jocks and
some panty liners
Penises and vaginas

Now I’m feeling
empty inside
I need someone to
fill the void
and lay by my side
No, I can’t be alone
though I’ve tried

Peters and tooters
a rod and a gash
High and dry cocks
coming down
with a splash
I’ve got your pants down
I’ve seen it at last
Penises and vaginas

I’ve got a cavern
that you cannot measure With your
purple helmeted
warrior of pleasure
Sometimes for business
and others for leisure
Penises and Vaginas

Bangin’ the bishop
between your thighs Bottoming out would you
look at the size!
Stickin’ my member
into your hair pie
Penises and vaginas

Stinky: Tambourine
Ezra Reynolds: Keyboard
Bryan Nelson: Bass
Phillip White: Drums
Rachel Rosen: Vocals
Rose Cohen: Vocals

12. The Fattest Kid
Why is it I have
such an appetite?
Is it my fault
that I was made
this way?
Who is to blame for this?
I cannot explain
It ain’t easy
being me sometimes
yet I’m alone
Now I know
I’m the fatest kid
Yes the children say
I’m the fatest kid

I am the subject
of such ridicule
If only they could know
how sweet I am
When will
the suffering end?
I cannot explain
It ain’t easy
being me sometimes
yet I’m alone
Now I know
I’m the fatest kid
Yes the children sing
"He’s the fatest kid"

The Children: Elliot, Alex, and Carmen Vasquez

13. Life Is Pain
so why then am I
doing it again
I guess my curiosity’s
Why am I afraid?
Would you stand beside
me my dear friend?
I could die
Right now I could just
crawl in bed and cry
I saw "Terms of Endearment" on last night
I feel as big as a fly
My hearts caved in
so now I wonder why
So I sigh
Life’s too short
to wallow in my pain
here comes the rain
You and I
We’ve been through far
too much to let it go
That’s what
friends are for
You get the heavy end
I’ll hold the door

I’m confused
Mem’ries fade
And all my
dreams are used
My moral fiber’s
just about unglued
What do I do
Now that the years are
passing two by two...


14. I Don’t Mind
The situation with you
and me is regrettable
but I don’t mind much
any more
Oh no

Bryan Nelson:Bass

15. Mongloid


16.Capture the Spider
Whilst I arrive on the 2nd floor, I find a blackened corridor. I cannot take it anymore, it’s all I abhore yet I adore the game; so tedious and seductive.
Can you fault me the temptation?
Capture the spider.
It’s movements are so queer; so exacting and perfectly clear. I close in for attack, my mind goes completely black. I am afraid of that which I am capable. My blood has turned cold. Capture the spider. Do you wish to know my secret?
Perched in silence black as pitch. Behold the eight legged bitch. Oh what a tangled web we weave. She’s quite beautiful
I do believe.
I place the two in a jar to kill each other or to simply starve. Days turn into weeks but the damn things refuse to turn til one day found them gone though the blasted lid was still on. I wished only to possess them. Capture the spider.

17. Ich Bin Schwul
I want to make you drool
This is the golden rule
Why are you such a fool?
Bitte shen
Ich bin schwul
I want to check your stool This is the golden rule
Why are you such a fool?
Ich bin schwul
Danke shen
I sleep down at the station
I want to suck your cock
I bought myself a
but all you do is talk
I want to make the party
The heroin and coke
I give you head
for 20 marks
I want to make you choke

Bryan Nelson: Bass

18. Voyeuristic
I’ve got voyeuristic
I’m a little peeping tom
I’ve got voyeuric tndencies Is that wrong?

Bryan Nelson: Bass

19.Will You
?Wear the Ring?
My child, take my hand
and we shall walk
together, forever
My bride, take my word
and we shall lie
forever uncovered
You are the one for me
I guess you are the one
Now I shall try to seek
the gold which lies
beneath your tongue
You are the one...
I am beast, you are pure
We are virgin
Now take these
broken wings
and learn to fly again
I am free to all consume
I lay my cock
beside your womb
Will it soak up
all the blood
from our babe
who lies in mud?
I am free
Love will wane,
time will conquer
Our youth is no more
I am weak, I am afraid
You are not here
I am alone
You are dead
I lay you in the sea
Now its you who
can be free
I was the one for you I sing I ask you,
"Will you wear the ring?" but you are dead.
Why?! No!

Bryan Nelson: Bass

20. Down Tonight
Old man by the fire
Tonight he’s feelin’
young again
wind’s whisperin’
on the breeze
He’s feelin lonely
all his friends are gone
So you’re feelin’ down,
don’t see why you should
go on livin’
Frown tonight
and see how far that
frown’ll get ya
Don’t be uptight
Let me blow some sunshine
up your ass
I’ll get rid
of that rainy face fast
New nickel on the ground
Just waitin’
to be found again
There was a time
when you were
worth your weight
5 cents won’t buy that
much lately
Down tonight
You just can’t seem
to make a livin’
Down tonight
Your dreams seem
very far away
It’ll be alright
The waves of discontent
will soon subside
instead of takin’
you for a ride.

SDN ’, Ukelele, Washboard, Spoons, Crash, Clarinet

21. She’s Got an Ass
The birds have come back
from their winter
Carribean feathers
scatter all my cover
I’m so fortunate to be here
The winter was so
long and lonely
So long to the spring
Goodbye to all the seasons
I’ve got my reasons to
embrace the Summer
Nows no time to blubber
Never been more
fun to love her

She’s got an ass and
I haven’t even asked her
Couldn’t even master
She’s a master blaster
mister, sister
She’s got an ass and
I haven’t even told her
Put my head down
on her shoulder
I’ve been afraid to
let her know

The boys have come back
from their soccer
The days of school
are closer
Memories of last year
seem much farther
We’re in a better
grade now
Classes we have had
were dumb
Only hoops, charades,
and counting games
I’m ready for a change
the girls of Summer are
past their time as lovers
All this heat has
made me blue
I’m looking for
something new
I think it might be you

She’s got an ass
and it’s bound to make
some heads turn
More than just my
ears burn
When will I ever learn?

The seasons come
much slower
Two years ago
I loved some girl
The fantasy of Summer
now is lost forever
Mystery is fading
We both know that
we’re jerks sometimes
Winter’s something
real now
Can’t spend our time
waiting for the
spring to come
It looks as though
we’re living life
I’ve finally got something
more than
romantic aspirations
and perfect hindsight

She’s got an ass
though is couldn’t be
much faster
She’s a ghetto blaster
Although I haven’t made
the time to ask her
She’s got as ass...

SDN: Rainstick
Bryan Nelson: Bass,
Bass Drum
Tony Nozero: Drums,
Ezra Reynolds: Keyboard
Douglas Rutley: Nylon
String Guitar

22. Apart of You
Now it’s late
I’ve gone through
the motions of the day
I feel sad
without your company
Although you’re with me
in a funny way
I’m alone
So restless
and hopelessly awake
You’re asleep
many hours away
So distant you can’t
hear my heart ache
Please take me away
Carry me to your front
door, let my cry
my sorrows away
As my body lie
next to yours
I’m apart from you
My guitar can only
calm me for so long
I walk the floor
to count the hours
or I sit and play your
favorite songs
Rachel, dear
I am empty w/o you
I drive my car around
so aimlessly
My days of wandering
will soon be through

Now I’m part of you
I can live inside
your heart
There I sing to you
And eternally
you sing your part
I will sleep
I sleep and dream all
night of holding you
All the lonliness
will sleep away
Slumber till
the sky we share is blue..


23. Christy & Me
I’m strapped in a
capsule with you
Counting down for the red,
white, and the blue
The shoe is on the other
foot and that other foot
belongs to you
I’m Chinese,
perhaps you’re black

Christy and me know how
to have a good time
together, it’s true
Christy and me,
we spread ourselves thin

It’s a go, at the strip
Pumpin’ with the flow
and it’s a pip
There’s confusion as we
touch the face of God
The red phallus
penetrates the sky


That girl has taught me
so much
Like how to smile
and ride it out
But now we’re
burning up inside
We’re splitting up the
team for the good of the

Now’s there’s a
fork in the road
As I reach to grab it
turns to smoke
As a child I sit
and watch the tube
I’m Chinese, perhaps
you’re black

Christy is gone
and I am no more
Christy and me embrace
one last time as
we fall to the ocean floor

And now we need another
seven astronauts...

Bryan Nelson:
Bass, Space Echo
Tony Nozero: Drums

24. Bone Sweet Bone Æ
Bone sweet bone
that’s my favorite song
Bone sweet bone
Bone sweet bone
Sing it loud and strong!


25. Tuna Song ¥
One tuna
Two tuna
Three tuna
Four tuna...
Five tuna sandwiches
Doo doo ta doo doo

Rachel Rosen: Vocals

26. When the Saints Ø


27. I’m Alright, Okay?!
I’m alright,
I’m still okay
I am doing fine today
I’m okay, alright?
I’m doing fine
I’m okay,
I’m still alright
I am doing great tonight
I’m alright...
Okay, I’m real uptight!

I have got a few concerns
been thinking of the past
it burns
I admit I have a few
things on my mind
It’s really not
some great big deal
It’s really only how I feel
I got some problems
still I’m doing fine!


28. Thanks for Being My Mom ¢

29. You Thought You Were Alone
So, you thought
you were alone.
Well I’m here to tell you
that you’re wrong
You’re blind
and your hearing’s gone
Wish you could hear me
sing this song
You could come over
and kiss me
Play like nothing’s wrong

I didn’t mean
to suprise you
How could I know that
you were truly unaware
I didn’t see those
clouds in your eye, love
I guess I should just
go ahead and stare

So you thought
you were alone
Sometimes your body don’t
hold up but life goes on
You’re blind
but your life is long
Do you wish you were
some bones?
I wish I had something
to tell you but I don’t
Besides you couldn’t
hear me, oh no
So you thought
you were alone

Peter Stopschinski:
Keyboard, Bass
Phillip White: Drums
Rachel Rosen: Back-up
Rose Cohen: Back-up
David Rider: Back-up

my beloved little roach.

... All songs © 2000
Stinky del Negro
¥ Rachel Rosen
Æ John W. Schaum
Ø Traditional
¢ Jim Mandell
Ø Stinky del Negro and

David Craig

SDN &Mac189;: Stinky del Negro played all guitars, bass, keyboards, and drum machines unless otherwise noted

Recorded at home and at Sweatbox
Mastered at Sweatbox Studio

Call toll free: 877.463.3036

Thanx: Javier Piñon, Jake Weidlin, Bryan Nelson, Niels Dilger, Jonathan Miertzchen, J.P. Love Monkey, Gay Black Josh, The Cortizone 4, Stin- G, Dr. Favorite, Paul Ahern, the Cohens, the Rosens, the Watsons, Russ Smith, HUG, Gene and Geraldine, Run PMS, Handsome Joel, Colin "from the woods" Langner, Pete Wall, Cary Jackson, Carrie Bev., Rebekah Whitehurst, & all the Sick-Os who listen.

...and yes, it’s true. Stinky del Negro loves to eat cum.


All Songs © Stinky del Negro 2000